Essay – example & model answer

Essay – example &amp; model answer | C1 Advanced (CAE)

Task:
Which aspect of your daily lives has been affected most by technology?
communication
relationships
working life
Some opinions expressed in the discussion:
'It's great to be able to communicate with people 24 hours a day.'
'It's so hard to make personal relationships - everyone's online every time.'
'People have an easier working life because they can work from home.'

Write an essay discussing two of the points in your notes. You should explain which aspect of daily life you think has been most affected by technology, giving your reasons in support of your answer. Write your answer in 220-260 words in an appropriate style.

Student’s answer	Comments
The pandemic has brought about some perceptible core changes in the way we harness technology. As a result, it either has facilitated processes or taken a heavy toll on every aspect of our daily life. But which of the two spheres is undergoing the greatest changes: social interaction or workflow?	- “it either has facilitated processes”: not clear which exactly processes – Organization our daily l̶i̶f̶e̶. lives: plural form needed – Language
Firstly, the way we exchange emotions and news will not remain the same any more. Truth be told, always being in touch with the loved ones is an	‘any more’: should be anymore – Language ‘tedious day, here technology satisfies’: a semi-colon
invaluable gift of the digital era. It is just the issue of safety to be able to promptly ask for help or express frustration after a tedious day, here technology satisfies our basic human need. But on the flipside, interacting through a video call may come across as speaking with a digital image, not a real person, which is sure to increase social anxiety.	‘Recruiters has come to realize’: have instead of has – Grammar ‘hundred times more effective’: unobjective language, an exaggeration – Language ‘will take company’s productivity’: introducing another argument instead of a summary; nothing mentioned about productivity in the body paragraph 2. There’s no summary of the arguments in the conclusion on the two aspects discussed: communication and working life – Content

248 words

Content	4/5	Minor irrelevances and/or omissions may be present (no summary at the end of the Conclusion paragraph). The target reader is on the whole informed.
Communicative achievement	4/5	Uses the conventions of the communicative task effectively to hold the target reader’s attention and communicate straightforward and complex ideas, as appropriate. Although, there is and instance of an unclear message (has facilitated processes – not clear which ones)
Organization	4/5	Text is well organised and coherent, using a variety of cohesive devices and organisational patterns to generally good effect. Occasional errors may be present (punctuation in body paragraph 1) but do not impede communication.
Language	3/5	Uses a range of vocabulary, including less common lexis (perceptible changes, to satisfy a need, to commute), appropriately. Uses a range of simple and complex grammatical forms (relative clause ‘which …’, It-cleft ‘It is just the issue of …’) with control and flexibility. Occasional errors may be present but do not impede communication.

Overall score: 196 ~ CEFR Level C1, grade B

Overall feedback:
This is a strong, detailed, and well-developed response. The writer establishes the topic in the opening paragraph and addresses both options through a rhetorical question: "But which of the two spheres is undergoing the greatest changes: social interaction or workflow?" Paragraph 2 presents both sides of technology's influence on modern communication — its usefulness and its disruptiveness. Paragraph 3 offers two examples of positive transformation in the field of employment. The conclusion states the writer's opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, it does not summarize the arguments made in the body paragraphs. A further weakness in the final paragraph is that it introduces a new argument in favor of technology's influence at work — "Recruiters have come to realize that remote access to information is... more effective" — which weakens the overall structure of the essay.
This is a good, articulate response that could score even more highly with a fewer lapses in vocabulary and punctuation. One of the essay's strengths is its wide range of topic-specific vocabulary, used accurately: "harness technology," "undergoing... changes," "increase social anxiety," "working unsocial hours," and so on. There is one lapse in cohesion — it isn't clear which processes the writer is referring to in the introduction — but otherwise the essay's organization is clear and easy to follow. The author draws on a wide range of cohesive devices: linking words, reference words, and mini-conclusions at the end of each paragraph.

Useful links:
Link to the Cambridge assessment criteria: https://www.cambridgeenglish.org/Images/600976-teacher-guide-for-writing-c1-advanced.pdf
Link to the CAE writing scores calculator: https://cambridgescore.com/cae

Get your CAE writing assessed on my website: https://selfmadeenglish.ru/

05.10.2026